What’s My Name?


A few days ago, I was walking into my apartment complex with a huge bag of groceries, produce falling out onto the floor and my keys dropping beside me.ImageImageImageImage  It was a rare moment that the kids weren’t with me.  A kind lady that I occasionally see held the door open for me and asked me how I was.  I realized after I had left that this was my flustered, yet enthusiastic response- “We’re good, thanks!”  Now I wonder if this lady thinks that I have multiple personalities.  I am often trailed by three little geese, I barely have a second to myself these days.  Therefore, I inevitably answer with “we”.  Because it IS, for the most part, 24/7, me and at least one of the girls.

My life doesn’t seem to be my own these days.  That is good and bad.  I am filled to the brim with hugs and cuddles, the color pink, anything shiny or glittery from my girls.  That’s the great part.  But as much as my girls can be sugar-sweet, they can also be cranky, whiny, and difficult.  And any mother knows that the last person she gets ready every day is herself.  I spend one hour getting my three girls ready in the mornings and anywhere between three and five minutes on myself.  I can take a shower and be ready in five minutes.  And drink a cup of tea.  And take out the garbage.  Hence, the other side of me is harrowed, chaotic, exhausted, and grumpy.  Oh, and the frizz is in its own category.  I look a female version of Richard Simmons if I don’t have time to blow-dry my hair.  I am also usually doing 30 things at once, like any good mother knows.  And this doesn’t leave a lot of time for me.  I could use a quick facial, mani/pedi, eyebrow wax, and highlights.  Come to think of it, I could use a whole body makeover.  Wardrobe, too.  My dilemma these days is, Which is more important-to be clean or to get rid of the frizz and blow dry my hair?  Clean usually wins out.  So I walk around looking like a big puffball. 

The other day, I caught myself singing along to some ridiculously annoying Katy Perry song on the radio.  Wait, five minutes to myself in the car??  What the heck was I doing?!?!  I quickly came back to life and switched the channel to some good old classic rock.  And no body yelled or hit me for it.  The 24-hour Christmas music on the easy listening station is slowly killing me, by the way, sweet note by note.  I swear, they have a measly two hours filled with holiday music and then they just re-play and don’t have to pay anyone for an entire month.  Although, Air Supply does have a rocking version of “Little Drummer Boy”. 

Carpool is another one.  I am “Zoë’s Mom”.  Like as in, “Zoë’s Mom?  Remi licked me.”  And “Zoë’s Mom?  Can you please tell my Mom that I ate my cheese stick at school today?”  Or, as soon as I have everyone buckled into their car seats, “Zoë’s Mom?  I need to go to the bathroom.”  Or it’s one of my own children complaining or whining about each other.  Or attacking one another with a paint brush.  Sigh.  We are also one big old Katy Perry/Lady Gaga/Ke$sha dancing and singing machine.  Sometimes there are five little girls under the age of seven in my car.  Someone is always singing, talking, or yelling.  We are practically glittering as we boogey along.  Either way, we are booming with chaos.

On another note, I haven’t seen an adult movie for a very long time.  Wait a minute, that didn’t come out right.  By adult movie, I meant a movie for big people.  Not THAT kind of adult movie.  I have, however, seen plenty of Smurfs, Muppets, Enchanted, and Tangled.  Our music at home consists of a lot of girly music and a dash of Justin Bieber, or Justin “Beaver”, as Z calls him.  My dear husband is quietly wringing his hands somewhere right now.  He has had just about enough of Rihanna and Ke$sha.   I kindly tell him that it’s just beginning and we are totally in for it.  Just wait a few years.

That being said, I am still incredibly grateful to be mother to these three little folks.  They teach me something new about myself every day.  Yes, I look like I crawled through a hurricane most of the time.  But I also giggle more than I ever did before because of them.  They are teaching me patience and perseverance.  They are helping me to be a better person.  I feel a bit lost, frankly, when I am not with them.  Clearly, they are a part of me and influence most every move I make.  And if it means that I include them in my greeting responses, then so be it.  Because I wouldn’t be the same without them.  Frizz and all.


3 responses »

  1. Tara, you are a wonderful writer. Someday when you’re published, we’ll be there clapping and saying, “We’re related! We knew her when!”
    We sure missed seeing you at Thanksgiving. Elena says you and the girls might come up to see us??? We sure hope so!

    Love – to all – and lots of it!

    Connie and Dick

  2. The only problem with this post is that you look fantastic pretty much every day 🙂 Other than that, I totally agree with ya. It is insane with all these kiddos around some days. If you ever need a break, send ’em over. It’ll give us both a break cause my kids will leave me alone too 😉

  3. Hi Tara. Love the pictures of the girls! and the whole family too since I might not recognize you in your ‘frazzled mother’ state (you look pretty good to me…) Glad to see you continuing to write — you have a talent.

    Jim got married this last weekend. Didn’t think I ever see the day, but love the girl who is actually also from Fairbanks. Her older brother was one of Jim’s best friends in HS. Go figure…

    Best of Holidays to everyone! hugs, Phyllis

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